Got a Bad one ?
E-mail me with it and I'll share.
That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the
rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor."You didn't do it, did
you?""I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What
I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!"
A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged
in oral sex.
"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out
there!"
But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening.
They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing.
"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of
artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!"
"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm
gonna try for next!"
A woman on an African safari strays from the group and is grabbed by a baboon and raped.
Rescued, she is rushed back to the States, where it takes her nearly a month to come out
of the shock. A friend visits. "Don't you think it would help to talk about
it?", she asks. "What's to say?" the woman sighs sadly. "It's been
four weeks--he doesn't call, he doesn't write...
A guy goes into a bar and buys two drinks. He downs one, and pours the other all over his
hand. "What are you doing?" asks the bartender? "Getting my date
drunk," he replies.
And, there's the one about the woman who goes to her gynecologist who, in the course of
the exam, asks, "Are you sexually active?" The woman thinks for a minute and
says, "Well, I don't just lie there if that's what you mean!"
A woman is yelling at her husband. "You SHMUCK! God, you are such a SHMUCK!
I can't believe what an incredible SHMUCK you are. If there were a contest for biggest
SHMUCK in the world, YOU'D come in second!" "Why second," he asked?
"Because you're such a SHMUCK!
Remember when sex was safe and mountain climbing dangerous.